For as long as I can remember, my answer to this question has been "a teacher". My sister swears that for as long as she remembers (she's 6 years older than me) that I always said I was going to be a teacher.
People have asked me why? And to be honest.... I don't know. I usually say because I love to help others. As years passed, I came to the conclusion that since I struggled in school, and I wanted to make sure no student ever felt worthless or unwilling to learn.
But as I was growing up, there was never a doubt in my mind about becoming a teacher... I graduated High School in '06, went straight into college. Attended college in my hometown. A year in, I had the opportunity to study at a university 2 hours away from home. At that time, at the age of 18-19, I just wanted to get away, be independent, on my own.... I do not regret anything because every choice I made in life led me to exactly where I am today.
Well, after a school year away, I made the decision to come back home. Continued with my degree but moving away caused me to lose some credits (some didn't transfer over). It took me 5 years to complete a 4-year degree in Early Childhood Education. To be honest, looking back now, I wish it would have taken me longer. Maybe I should have gotten 2 degrees, I don't know. I don't understand why I was in such a hurry to live life.
Well anyway, graduated with my Bachelors in May 2011 and started my first teaching assignment in Aug. 2011. Full time teacher, right out of college.
Fast Foward...Last year, I completed my 14th year teaching.... something was off throughout the year though. Why am I a teacher again? Is this the right job for me? Maybe this isn't for me, now that I am older, a mom of 3, a wife, etc.
My days were filled with frustration and sometimes anger. Is this teaching? I was once this cheerful, happy teacher walking in every day.
I am now struggling to wake up and make it to work on time. I get home exhausted, my work is never done, I am cranky, I do not want to make dinner. So, the end of the year, I made a decision to "leave the classroom", kind of. I applied for the Resource (Special Education) position on campus. Current teacher was retiring and well I felt I needed a change. Something to get my spark back.
I got the job!
I applied for my SPED certification and passed the test on the first try... YAY ME!
Started the year with an amazing team, they have taught me everything I know.
I see 7 groups daily, ranging from 5-8 students (small group) ... We have had at least 2 ARDs per week. Paperwork is never ending. I feel like I am doing the job of 2 people... Like I should either be teaching or working on paperwork, not both!!!!
Anyway, Stress and Anxiety are taking over my life, and I do not like it. So, my question still remains.... Is teaching still right for me? Have I fulfilled my time here (in this profession) and maybe my work is needed elsewhere?
Is my spark gone forever?
What do I want to be when I grow up?
I mean technically I am still growing up.... I can still change my mind, right? after 15 years?
-Liz
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